I am having a really bad, no
good, terrible kind of day. Okay, it’s actually not that bad – I have buckets
to be grateful for and nothing has actually gone wrong.
Yet I just feel so “bleh” and
dejected. What’s up with that?
The most interesting part is
that I don’t care to make myself feel better. I could rattle off a million
things I could do that would put me in a better frame of mind. I have all sorts
of coaching tips and tricks to knock me over the doldrums fence. And I have
prayers galore that would instantly raise my spirits. But I’m not interested. I
am such a happy, up, all is great-all the time kind of gal that I’m finding
some strange satisfaction in being unhappy. Now really, what is up with THAT?
Maybe it’s actually an act of
compassion. Because I am usually so positive myself, perhaps it is sometimes
difficult to relate to others that were born with a more pessimistic (or as
they would likely say, reality-driven) streak.
Maybe it’s an act of
surrender. If God and the stars and nature and whatever other voodoo-jou-jou is
conspiring to make me have a rough day, then I’m best to just accept it. Why
fight the toxicity when you can just let it flow right past.
It could be an act of
prescience. Maybe this is just the wake up call I need to realize some ailing
element in my life. I may look back at this day in weeks to come and recognize
that my bad day was the sign of some major change.
Perhaps it’s an act of
observation. An opportunity to watch it, question it, examine it – but not
attach to it. How very Yogi of me.
Or maybe it’s just a
not-so-bad, not-so-great, not-so-terrible day and one should not waste timing
writing about in a blog. And instead move on to whatever the next moment holds.
Because maybe it will be joy or it will be sadness, but this current bleh
moment is moments away from being in the past.
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